JADE: Well…there’s no one quite like me.
JADE: Alright anon, let me give you a detailed list:
- Za Zee Chinese Buffet. 10 wounded and 7 emotionally scarred. Tori shoved aside a 5 year old to get the last dessert.
- Kentucky Bucky American Buffet. 4 wounded and one elderly in critical condition when Tori refused to relinquish her knife and fork.
- Michael’s Roast and Carvery. 2 wounded and 1 assumed dead. They had to call security to remove my wife.
- Uncle Sam’s Family Feast. No survivors.
and that is precisely why we’re no longer allowed in any buffets on the West side of Hollywood.
This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.
We don’t have kids.
We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.
sometimes you get so close to a person you forget you’re telling them things you’ve never even said out loud before